


My Love is You

by clare009



Category: BIGBANG - Fandom, Nyongtory - Fandom
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-10 03:01:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18929962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clare009/pseuds/clare009
Summary: Seungri discovers something he never knew about his hyung, Jiyong, before, and just as he thought he was getting over him, now he can’t stop thinking about him again.





	My Love is You

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and not for profit etc etc. 
> 
> I wanted to write something a little more humorous. I think we all need something to smile about while we wait for Seungri and the boys.

[---] Hyung, I’ll be at your place to pick you up in 20 minutes. I need some snacks, so hungry! Anything you want from the shop?

Seungri dashed off the message on his phone as he hurried into the corner shop. He’d missed lunch and dinner and there was no way he’d survive a studio session with Kwon Jiyong on an empty stomach. His phone dinged and he squinted at the screen. 

[Kwon Leader] You know what I like. Get whatever. I’ll be in the shower when you get here so let yourself in.

Seungri grabbed several bags of snacks off the shelves in the store, as well as some sweets for Jiyong who preferred sugar to salt. He yanked a six pack of coke cans out of the fridge as well, then put them all down on the counter to pay. 

The cashier, a pimply-faced teen, rang up his purchases with one hand while typing on his phone with the other. The teen didn’t even bother to look up, nevertheless Seungri pulled the peak of his baseball cap lower to try and hide his platinum blond locks and shadow his already masked face.

With his card back in his wallet, he grabbed his bag and rushed back to his car. As soon as he was in the driver’s seat, he ripped one of the cokes out of the packaging and popped the can open, grinning at the satisfying snap and hiss. He took a large gulp of the fizzy soda as he navigated his way back onto the road to Jiyong’s apartment. 

Seungri held onto the can as he steered the car, weaving his way through the traffic. The sun had set but there were still streaks of red and orange painting the dusky sky. He knew the brilliance of the colors were a consequence of the pollution in the city, but he appreciated it nonetheless. He even dug the irony of something of beauty being born out of dirt and dust. He felt a kind of kinship with that. His own self had sweated and even sometimes bled during many hours of practice to produce clean and beautiful movements on stage. 

A car in front of him halted suddenly and he had to slam on his breaks to keep from crashing into them.

“Shit!” He cried, his favorite English curse word. Fortunately the car behind him managed to stop in time, too, and they somehow avoided a major accident. Unfortunately Seungri wasn't able to avoid a minor accident because he’d dropped his can of coke and now the contents were leaking out over the crotch of his jeans. “Shit.”

He quickly tossed the can into the back seat, knowing he’d have to clean it up later, but his immediate concern were his soiled jeans and the cold, wet sticky sensation as the moisture seeped down into his underwear. He wriggled in his seat, scrunching up his face at the grossness. When the car in front of him finally moved, he put pedal to the metal to get the hell out of there as soon as possible. 

Lucky for him, Jiyong’s apartment complex had a secluded back entrance for those with a key code. He certainly didn’t want to have to announce himself to the concierge looking like he’d pissed himself. 

He took the elevator up to the 11th floor alone, but his luck ran out when he almost collided with one of Jiyong’s neighbors in his haste to exit. He stepped to the side and bowed courteously to the ahjumma. She had a look on her face like she was smelling garlic or something, but she always had that look. This time, however, her eyes traveled to the wet patch on the front of his jeans and she let out huff. If possible, her nose turned higher, and she brushed past him into the elevator. 

Seungri flushed and bobbed his head again before he turned and hurried towards Jiyong’s door. He punched in the code, hoping to god he’d find a pair of jeans or even sweatpants in Jiyong’s closet that would fit him. Gone were the days where he could easily steal his hyung's clothes. His hyung had remained scrawny while he'd only grown. 

"Hyung!" He called out into the empty space that was the living-dining-kitchen area of Jiyong's apartment. His voice echoed back at him and the only eyes that greeted him were the disdainful ones of Jiyong's cat, who turned his back on him and walked away. He shrugged. That cat had never been too fond of him. Probably because she was jealous. Seungri stuck his tongue out at the cat who was pointedly ignoring him. 

His hyung must still be in the shower, and who knew how long that would take. Jiyong sometimes spent what felt like hours in the shower. Seungri couldn't wait for him, he needed to get out of his dirty clothes and clean himself off fast. He hated feeling disgusting. 

Walking through to his hyung's bedroom, he called out for Jiyong again, but got no reply. It wasn't a surprise when he heard the music blasting from behind the door of Jiyong's en suite bathroom. Sometimes Jiyong liked silence, and sometimes he liked noise. Over the years, Seungri had become used to the many whims of his hyung. 

"Hyung, I need to borrow some clothes," he yelled, but didn't wait for a response as he pulled open the doors to Jiyong's extensive walk in closet. There were racks and rails filled to the brim with every kind of fashion, and Seungri knew this wasn't even the half of it. The bedroom next door was set up as a secondary closet with even more extravagant items. All he needed was a simple pair of jeans and some clean underwear. 

He pulled open the top of the nearest chest of drawers, hoping to find some boxers or briefs. Instead his eyes were bombarded with a feast of lace and satin, all in a rainbow of colors. 

Seungri stepped back in surprise. He leaned forward again to make he wasn't seeing things. Nope. That was definitely a drawer full of women's underwear. 

For a moment his mind went blank. He reached into the drawer and grabbed the first thing his hand touched. When he held it up, he saw it was a sheer, red thong. He stared at it in disbelief. His brain somehow could not calculate the reason for its existence. 

"Yah! What are you doing?"

Seungri jumped and turned to see his hyung standing just outside the closet with a towel wrapped around his waist and his dark hair dripping into his eyes. He looked pissed. Really pissed. Seungri glanced at the feminine underwear that he was still clutching in his hand and quickly hid it behind his back.

"Seungri-yah, what did you do? Why are you touching my things?" Jiyong stalked towards him and Seungri swallowed. His options were limited. He couldn't run because his hyung was blocking the only escape route. He briefly thought about trying to toss the underwear somewhere else and feigning ignorance, but he quickly calculated that that would be suicide. He'd have to go with false bravado. 

 

"Hyung, have you been lying to us all this time?" he said sharply enough to halt Jiyong in his tracks. He quickly formulated his offense. "Since when did you have a girlfriend?"

"What?" Jiyong hesitated. That was a good sign. It meant he had a shot. "What are you talking about?"

"This!" He brandished the red underwear and waved it in front of Jiyong's face. "You have her clothes in your house. Has she moved in with you?" Actually, the thought hadn't crossed his mind until he said it, and now that he said it, he realised he wasn't happy about it. "Is she here right now? Hiding? Hyung?"

Jiyong held up his hand. "Stop. Whatever you're thinking, it's not what it looks like."

"You have a whole drawer full of women's underwear. What is it supposed to look like?" His heart was hammering in his chest. Was Jiyong really trying to hide a woman from them? From him? He'd never done that in the past. He'd simply brought any floozy he was with to hang out with them and when confronted bluntly about whether or not he was dating them, would simply shrug. 

Jiyong reached forward and deftly plucked the underwear out of Seungri's hand. "Trust me, I don't have a girlfriend." He walked around Seungri and stuffed the red panties back into the drawer full of lingerie before shoving it closed.

"Then what's that?" Seungri jabbed his finger at the drawer. "Relics of your past relationships?"

"Since when do you care about my relationships?" Jiyong leaned back against the chest of drawers. His face held an ambiguous expression. Seungri couldn't tell if he was walking on thin ice or not. His own face felt heated and he wondered if it was red. 

"Of course I care, hyung. I don't want you to be unhappy. So if you have someone you love… well then what's the harm in telling us?"

Jiyong sighed. "I'm not seeing anyone. I… I'm not looking for that right now, okay." 

Maybe Seungri had touched a nerve. He cocked his head to the side. "Then what's going on?" 

Jiyong looked down at his feet, and Seungri thought he caught a faint blush of color on his cheeks. "You'll laugh at me."

"I won't. I promise." The words rushed out quickly. 

"It's just… embarrassing. And kind of private." 

Jiyong continued to avoid eye contact, but now Seungri was really intrigued. What did all this have to do with a drawer full of women's underwear? What was his hyung trying to hide if it wasn't a girlfriend? "If it's private, then I won't bother you about it, hyung, but… if you tell me, I swear I won't make fun of you, and I won't tell anyone."

"You really want to know?" Jiyong looked up at him and a shiver ran down his spine. That look… it always caught him off guard. Seungri swallowed and nodded. In a low voice, Jiyong said, "They're mine."

It took a moment for Seungri to digest the two words. "Wha.. what?" he stuttered.

His hyung smiled at his confusion. It was a wolfish kind of smile. "I said, they're mine. They belong to me."

Immediately Seungri's mind jumped to what Jiyong might need a plethora of skimpy bras and panties for. "Um… Do you use them to…" He made a jacking off motion with his hand.

Jiyong laughed. "No, not quite. I wear them."

Seungri choked. "You... wear them."

"That's right," Jiyong said, any trace of embarrassment seemed to have vanished. "I wear them, because they make me feel good. I feel powerful."

Blinking, Seungri tried to comprehend what his hyung was saying. He pointed at the drawer. "Those are your underwear… you wear them. All the time?"

"Not all the time. It wouldn't be practical. I generally save it for special occasions, or for times when I'm stressed. They calm me down."

"Huh." An image of Jiyong dropping his towel and slipping into the sheer red panties he'd picked out of the drawer floated in front of him and his cheeks grew warm. "Do you really wear them?"

"Yes." Jiyong's eyebrows scrunched together. "You promised not to make fun of me. This is very personal to me." 

"Of course I won't. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry…"

"So you believe me, then?"

Seungri looked at his hyung. The whole premise wasn't too far fetched. Jiyong liked to stretch the boundaries of fashion, he had no problem shopping in the ladies department and would pair a feminine blouse with leather pants more often than not. He always said it shouldn't matter what someone wore, it was the person that was important. Seungri nodded. "I don't see why it's an issue. If that's something you like to do, then that's your business and nobody else's."

The corners of Jiyong's mouth twitched. "It means a lot to hear you say that, maknae."

Seungri nodded again. He couldn't really say much else even through he had a million questions he wanted to ask, like isn't it uncomfortable? Especially the thong part… How do you fit your package in that tiny triangle of fabric? Does the lace scratch? What about the bras, do you wear those too? Do you stuff them? But he knew he'd already overstepped his boundaries. Besides, it's not like he could talk with his own proclivities… Yes, better not probe too deeply. 

Seungri flushed and cleared his throat. "Sorry. I shouldn't have pried. I was just worried that…"

"That I might have a girlfriend? Would it be a problem if I did?"

His heart started to hammer again. "No, of course not," he said a bit too vehemently. "I mean, it would only be bad if it was something you hid from the rest of us. We would support you if you did, hyung."

Jiyong nodded, but Seungri didn't like the sharp look in his eyes, as if he was seeing right through his words. He couldn't think that Seungri still had feelings for him, could he? That was almost a year ago, he'd gone through so much since then, and Jiyong had firmly put him in his place at the time. He never made the same mistake twice. 

His hyung dropped his gaze and sighed. "What are you doing going through my things anyway?"

Shit. He'd forgotten about the state of his jeans. Seungri grinned sheepishly. "I spilled my drink all over myself. I thought I could borrow something to wear."

"Idiot," Jiyong said with a snort. He pulled open a different drawer and flung a pair of traditionally masculine underwear at Seungri who caught them out of the air. "I don't have any jeans that'll contain your ass, maknae, so you'll have to do with sweatpants. Go clean up in my bathroom while I get dressed. Hurry. I want to get to the studio."

Jiyong shoved a pair of sweatpants into Seungri's arms and pushed him out of the closet slash dressing room area before shutting the door. 

Seungri sighed. He couldn't tell if his hyung was pissed or bemused. That was always his problem with Jiyong. He never knew what he was thinking. 

During the drive to the studio Seungri was tense. There seemed to be an awkward vibe between them that he hadn’t experienced in since they'd patched things up after his accident. 

He cleared his throat for the third time and said, “So how much more work are we doing on this album, hyung?”

Jiyong glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. “The first two songs are almost ready to go, but the rest… until I’m satisfied, I suppose.”

Seungri laughed. “You’re never satisfied. We’ll be tinkering with it for decades if that’s the case.”

“We can’t all pull an album out of our asses in three weeks.” 

Blushing at the compliment, Seungri said, “I only make music, you… you make anthems. Art. History. You change the world. You’re a genius and you know it.” 

Jiyong chuckled. “Then you should wait for the end result and tell me if I succeeded with all that.” 

“I don’t need to wait. Success is guaranteed.”

Beside him, his hyung nodded. Seungri grinned. Jiyong wasn’t boastful but he knew his own worth. “We need to tweak the chorus for the first single. And I want to play with some of the synths. Something just doesn’t sound right to my ear. It’s jarring.”

When the technical talk started with Jiyong, Seungri began to relax. This was familiar. They had the best working relationship and Jiyong loved to bounce ideas off of him. He was used to this. It was why he often went to the studio with his hyung even if he wasn’t recording anything himself. He enjoyed the back and forth discussions over music production, something he’d grown to love, and he also enjoyed being useful to his hyung. 

They spent several hours at the studio without even noticing that the time had flown by. Soon all that was left of the snacks Seungri had purchased earlier were discarded wrappers, and when he saw his hyung yawn more than once while blinking to keep his eyes open, it was 2 am. 

“Come, I’ll take you home,” he said to Jiyong, who nodded in acquiescence. His hyung must have been tired to not put up a fight. 

After dropping Jiyong off, Seungri headed back to his own apartment only a short distance away. He was still wide awake and amped up. He dropped his keys into the bowl on the entry table and kicked off his shoes, then walked through to his kitchen to open his refrigerator. He needed a drink to wind down. He was used to keeping late hours and would often stay up all night when he was asked to DJ. Getting to sleep was the hard part.

Grabbing a few cans of beer, he walked to the couch and flopped down. He didn’t feel like turning the TV on, so instead he pulled out his phone. He cracked open the first beer and drank until it was half gone, then randomly scrolled through his phone. 

He looked through his friends IG accounts but there was nothing interesting going on. Seungri opened the next can and gulped it down. He was thirsty. He was on edge. He needed to do something. He wished he could get out of his apartment and go to a club and just dance until he was exhausted. 

Or fuck. 

Maybe that was it. Maybe he just needed to get laid. It had been a while. When he was younger, when he first discovered what he liked, he’d had no issue sleeping around. At first he’d screw women and be screwed by men, but more and more he’d forgone the ladies until he was exclusively seeking men out. But even that got old. Finding the right sort of man who was just as concerned about his own reputation to remain silent was difficult enough, and somehow he always gave off the uke vibe so inevitably he’d end up being the one fucked instead of the other way around. But that wasn’t quite what he wanted. He wanted something else...

In his head he conjured up the vision of his dark-haired, dark-eyed hyung in that red sheer thong, this time paired with red stockings and heels, and with his red lips curled into a sneer. Instantly, Seungri felt himself go hard. 

This wasn’t a good idea. In fact it was a terrible idea, but just this once wasn’t going to kill him. 

He slipped his hand under the band of Jiyong’s sweat pants that he was still wearing, his lips quirked at the irony, to squeeze his stiffening cock. Sliding down to a more comfortable position on the couch, Seungri threw his head back and groaned out loud. 

Keeping the vision of Jiyong wearing feminine lingerie, Seungri began to master bate. He imagined his hyung all stern yet coy, hard but soft, teasing him with the sway of his hips, fingering himself in front of him… It didn’t take long before he was shooting into his hand and creating a new mess in his pants. Damn. He’d have to wash these before giving them back.

Breathless, Seungri chuckled. He should feel guilty for using Jiyong that way, but he didn’t care. It felt good, and now he was relaxed enough to attempt sleep. What Jiyong didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

The next few weeks he was kept busy, and exhaustion was enough to keep him from thinking too much. He also didn't meet up with Jiyong, who was deep into the final production for the first new songs they'd be releasing as a group in a long time. Seungri knew his life would only get crazier. 

He was working with his sunbaes and his hyung, Youngbae, on the choreography they'd be using on tour and at music shows. He had been repeating moves over and over for hours in different ways to find something everyone would agree on, and he'd reached the point where the sweat was pouring down his back and his muscles were on fire. 

"Let's take a break," Youngbae said between breaths. 

Seungri nodded. He reached for a towel to mop the back of his neck, and a bottle of water. "I think it's looking good."

"It could be better. You know it's got to pass his standards, Riyah." 

He chuckled. He knew exactly who they would need to impress. Their exalted leader, the perfectionist, who wouldn't rest until everything was exactly how he envisioned it. "We still have time. And you know he's gonna find fault just to find fault. But I'll get him to come around."

Youngbae rolled his eyes. "You're the only one who can." He slapped Seungri on the back. "What would we do without you, maknae?"

"Probably work yourselves into a hospital bed. There's a time for work, and a time for play, too, you know."

"Talking about our leader… you might want to check your phone." Youngbae was looking at his phone with a bemused expression. 

"Why?" 

Laughing, Youngbae showed him the screen. Seungri groaned when he read the messages.

[Jiyongah] I know he's with you. Tell him to call me.

[Jiyongah] Are you ignoring me too????

He fished out his own phone and found it blown up with several messages from Jiyong.

[Kwon Leader] What are you doing tonight?

[Kwon Leader] Where are you?

[Kwon Leader] Why don't you answer your messages?

[Kwon Leader] Call me right now.

[Kwon Leader] Daesung says you're with Youngbae. He's not answering either. Call me now or I swear to god I'll never talk to you again.

[Kwon Leader] I'm not joking, fucking call me.

"Excuse me for a minute," he said to Youngbae with a sigh. 

"Don't take it to heart, you know how pissy he gets before we drop a single."

Seungri flashed him a smile as he walked towards the exit of the dance studio. "I got it, hyung, don't worry."

He leaned on the wall in the corridor with the phone against his ear and waited while it rang. After exactly eight rings, his call was answered.

"What?"

"Hyung," Seungri made his voice soft and sweet, "I missed you. I haven't seen you in forever. Are you trying to hide from me? Hmmm?"

"You were the one not replying to my messages," came the short reply. 

"I know, but sunbae made us turn off our phones. Otherwise I would have called you back right away. I was hoping you'd message me. I really have missed you. Why do you get so wrapped up with work? You know you should take time to relax. I hope you've been sleeping and eating well, hyung. You forget to take care of yourself."

When Jiyong sighed on the other end of the line, Seungri knew he'd forgotten his petulance and was ready to be coddled. "I'm so tired. But I think I'm done. The first two tracks are finally ready."

"That's great news. They were sounding awesome before, so I know they will be amazing. You've worked hard."

"I want to see you tonight. What are you doing?"

Going home, taking a shower and falling face first into bed, Seungri thought, but instead he said, "I don't have plans, so whatever you want to do."

"Come to my place. I'll order some chimek and we can watch a drama. Please?"

The whine in Jiyong's voice when he said please made Seungri melt just a little. His leader had the power to twist him around his finger as he had the same to do to him. They both knew it. "Of course. We'll be done in a couple of hours, then I'll quickly go home and change before heading over."

"Just come straight here. You keep borrowing my clothes anyway."

Seungri laughed. "Whatever. I'll see you later, hyung.”

They worked for the next two and a half hours until Seungri was ready to drop from exhaustion. Youngbae sent him a commiserating look as he grabbed his stuff and got ready to head to Jiyong’s house. 

“Don’t let him take advantage of you,” Youngbae called out behind him. 

Seungri felt his ears burn even though he knew Youngbae didn’t mean it in that particular way. Or did he? You could never tell if Youngbae was being a pervert or not.

He drove the route from the dance studio to Jiyong’s apartment on auto pilot, he was so dead tired.

His hyung, however, greeted him at the door with seemingly mounds of energy. He held a towel out to him as he wrinkled his nose. “You’re late. Go clean up.”

“The food smells good.” Seungri kicked off his shoes by the door and grabbed the towel. “Did you eat yet?”

“No. I was waiting for you.” Jiyong crossed his arms over his chest and stuck out his bottom lip, but Seungri only smiled at him.

“I’m glad you invited me over. I was starting to think you hated me. I’ll be quick and then we can eat.”

“I left you some clothes in there,” Jiyong said to his back as he headed towards the guest bathroom. 

He felt more himself once he’d stepped out of the hot shower and pulled on the clean clothes Jiyong had left neatly folded on the vanity, a soft t-shirt and comfortable track pants that he swore were brand new and just his size. He wouldn’t put it past his hyung to have purchased several outfits to keep at his place especially for him after the last incident here. Jiyong might be hard on him sometimes but he always took care of him.

The thought of the secret lingerie drawer popped into his head as he was toweling his hair dry, and Seungri paused to stare at himself in the fogged up mirror. He needed to shut down that train of thought immediately. It wouldn’t do him any good to start thinking of his hyung in that way again. He may have slipped up a couple of weeks ago, but he’d put it solidly out of his mind since then. 

He reached over to the mirror to wipe it clean with his hand, then arranged his hair as best he could while it was wet. He was still getting used to the blonde, and although the bleaching process had sucked, he kind of liked the look. He'd also liked the reaction his hair had received from his hyung, who had simply stared at him without saying a word. Normally jiyong always criticized what Taehyun noona did to his hair, but not this time. 

Seungri smiled at himself, satisfied he didn’t look too bad, and went to join Jiyong in the living room. He flopped down on the couch next to his hyung and reached for a beer. It had been a really long and physically exhausting day, but after the shower, and a gulp of the refreshing alcohol, he felt good. Relaxed. 

Jiyong was busy on his phone, and the savoury smell of the food laid out on the coffee table was driving him insane, so Seungri grabbed some chicken from the box that had been delivered from Jiyong's favorite chimek takeout place.

As he munched away at his piece of fried chicken, Jiyong swung his legs up onto the couch while continuing to type into his phone. He stuck his bare feet under Seungri's thigh. It was one of Jiyong's silent gestures of affection, and a mark of the easy camaraderie they'd fallen back into. It had taken a while for them to get back to this point, but Seungri finally felt like things were almost back to how they were before he’d screwed everything up. He was lucky Jiyong would even put up with him knowing how Seungri had felt about him.

For a second his heart clenched as he watched his hyung's face bathed in the glare of his phone's screenlight. Yes, it had taken them a long time to get over his fuck up. He couldn't ever do that to his hyung again. 

He reached over and patted Jiyong's knee. "Are you going to eat? It's delicious."

"In a minute," Jiyong muttered. He typed even more furiously, and Seungri wondered what he was being distracted by. He was ninety-nine percent sure it was something to do with the new singles. 

"Put your phone away, hyung," Seungri said with a whine. "I came to spend time with you. I told you I missed you."

Jiyong looked up at him and smiled. He loved Jiyong's smile—it was always so unrestrained. "Of course you did, maknae. I'm sorry." He turned his phone off and threw it onto the coffee table. "There? Is that better? Now I'm all yours."

"You were just trying to make me jealous, weren't you, hyung?" Seungri teased. 

Jiyong chuckled. "I wish I could. You don't care enough about me to be jealous."

At this, Seungri pouted, but the effect was probably lost as he had a mouthful of food. "I do care about you. I'm always here for you when you need me."

"Ah. but never when I don't." Jiyong said, his expression cryptic.

"Yah, what's that supposed to mean."

Jiyong reached over and ruffled his wet hair. "It's ok, don't mind me. And you look like a poodle."

"But I thought you liked my hair this time." 

Cocking his head, Jiyong looked at him. "I always like your hair, maknae."

"Pfft." Seungri sat back on the couch and took another bite of his chicken. "You always mock my hair."

"It's called tough love."

"I guess I should be used to it by now."

Jiyong nodded. "Yes you should. I'm always going to want the best for you. That doesn't mean I don't already think you're great."

"Me? Great?" If his stomach did a little lilt, he paid it no attention. 

"Of course. But you know that already. Why should I say what you already know?"

"The great Seungri. I like that. That's what I wanna be." He pointed his chicken leg at Jiyong. "I'll be your great Seungri. Write me a song about it." Jiyong kicked him in the thigh. "Ow!"

"Don't get a big head. I write too many songs for you, anyway."

“I think you write more for Youngbae hyung.”

Laughing, Jiyong said, “You really are jealous. So cute. I think I like it.” He pulled the TV remote out from between the couch cushions and flipped it at Seungri. “Here. I’ve saved some dramas I wanted to watch. Find one for us. I’ll be right back.”

Jiyong stood and picked up his phone before stretching like a cat for a half a second with his back to Seungri. As his t-shirt rode up to expose the low riding waistband of his jeans, Seungri caught a glimpse of black lace.

He almost choked on his chicken. 

Jiyong disappeared toward the back of the apartment with his phone to his ear, while Seungri was left trying to cope with his new found knowledge. Under his jeans, his hyung was wearing a pair of black lace panties. 

When Jiyong returned several minutes later, Seungri tried to act nonchalant. His hand trembled as he pointed the remote at the TV to browse through the recordings. 

“Still haven’t found one you like?”

Seungri couldn’t say he’d even read any of the words on the screen. He shook his head.

Jiyong clucked. “Give it to me.” He snatched the remote and flicked through the titles. “What about this one? It’s with that guy from Empress Ki.”

Squinting at the TV, Seungri read the title while trying to keep his voice as even as possible. “Healer? I never watched Empress Ki, but he’s handsome. Is this a medical drama? You know I hate those.”

“No, it's like a thriller I think. Let’s just watch it. If we don’t like it, we can move on.”

His hyung plopped down next to him, a little too close for comfort, and pressed play. They began to watch the first episode of the drama, but Seungri had a hard time concentrating on the plot. Everything was so confusing, and his heightened awareness of the lack of space between him and his hyung didn’t help matters. What also didn't help was that Jiyong became progressively more handsy as the episode progressed. He usually had a very narrow concept of personal space, but now he was ignoring even that as he seemed to find Seungri's thigh every time there was a tense moment on screen. All the rubbing and squeezing was highly distracting. Seungri clutched at his beer and hoped Jiyong wouldn't notice he was semi-hard.

When the credits began to roll, Seungri leapt off the couch started to pick up discarded food containers and empty beer cans. 

"What are you doing? Don't you want to watch the next episode? I thought it was cool."

"We should put the chicken in the fridge, otherwise it'll go bad," Seungri said, clutching a box with leftovers.

"Fine, I'll help, but then we're watching the next one. I have ice cream if you like."

Jiyong stood and reached for an empty can just as Seungri did, and when their fingers touched, Seungri felt an electric current run up his arm. He snatched his hand back, leaving Jiyong with a puzzled look.

"Sorry. Sit down, I'll put it away, don't worry, I can manage, it's okay hyung, just leave it to me." Seungri spoke a little too fast; his heart was pounding. 

"What's wrong with you?" Jiyong said as he slowly straightened and looked Seungri in the eye. "You've been weird all night. What's going on."

Shaking his head vigorously, Seungri said, "Nothing, I swear. It's just been a long day. We practiced for hours in the dance studio. I'm tired is all."

"Nope. That's not it. You're tense. Wound up. If you were exhausted you'd have fallen asleep the minute the drama started like you always do."

"I don't always do that."

Jiyong stepped closer. "Are you hiding something from me?"

"No, of course not, hyung. Never…' Seungri swallowed. Jiyong was too close. He could smell the faintly cool scent from the hair product he used. His narrowed eyes wouldn't let him go. Seungri's own gaze darted down, his imagination still stuck on the bit of lace jiyong was wearing under his clothes. 

"Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"Yes--I mean, no. Why would you?"

"You're starting to sweat."

He was. It was suddenly stifling hot. Seungri fanned his face and tugged at his shirt. "You need to put the air conditioning on. It's too warm in here."

"It's winter." Jiyong took another step. Now he was close enough that Seungri felt a puff of air as Jiyong exhaled. "Tell me what you're thinking, Maknae."

"No." Seungri kept his eyes down. 

"No?"

"I can't."

Jiyong sighed. "You can."

A muscle began to twitch in his cheek. The heat, the tension, the tightening in his groin, it was all getting to him. He'd tried so hard to be good. He'd tried to forget about his hyung, to not think of him like that. But the longer Jiyong stood there in front of him, hands on his hips and a twist to his lips, Seungri felt all his resolve crumble. "Hyung, please…" His voice shook.

Jiyong reached between them took the box of leftovers that Seungri was clutching and set it on the table. When he straightened up, he gently grasped Seungri's arms. "It's okay, Seungri-yah, it's okay." His thumbs rubbed circles into his skin, making him shiver. "I thought… After what I did to you... " Jiyong sighed. "Please tell me. I want to hear you to say it."

His heart thumped a base line inside his chest. Did Jiyong know? How could he? He'd been so damn careful. He'd stuffed all his feelings into a box and locked them up and tossed the key into the Han River. But those delicate fingers rubbing up and down his arms were deft enough to pick the lock and slip under the lid, and unwrap what was tied up inside… "Hyung," he licked his lips, his voice cracking, "you told me to stop, you begged me not to, you said you could never feel that way about me… and I tried, I really tried not to…"

"I know." Jiyong brought the palm of his hand to Seungri's cheek. It was warm enough to burn.

"But… I never stopped loving you. I never did. I'm sorry--"

His words were cut short as Jiyong tugged him close and kissed him. 

For a second he was lost. Jiyong's lips moved against his in a silent question that demanded one answer. And Seungri responded the only way he knew how. He wrapped his arms around his hyung and kissed him back. 

When Jiyong parted from him, Seungri was breathless and his lips were swollen from being thoroughly kissed. His heart felt tight it was so full. His hyung was looking at him with wide open sincerity. One of Jiyong's thumbs swiped along his cheek, brushing away moisture he hadn't realised had collected there. 

"I'm the one who is sorry," Jiyong said, his voice soft. "I am ashamed of how I acted."

"I don't understand."

"I pushed you away. I was scared. I should never have done so. I'm so sorry."

Seungri closed his eyes and leaned into Jiyong's palm. The words he was hearing from his hyung were unbelievable. "When you said you could never feel the same way—“

"I lied. You don't know, my Seungri-yah, but I've always felt the same way. From almost the beginning."

This time Seungri opened his eyes to look at Jiyong. This was the man he'd grown to care about so much. He was so beautiful. Jiyong was everything he could ever want or need. The perfect combination of masculine and feminine, soft and hard, dominant yet pliable. It had taken him a while to realise his hero-worship of Jiyong was substantially more than that, and it had taken him even longer to build up the courage to tell Jiyong how he felt. And when he'd been shot down, it was the worst moment in his life. 

That pain had been real, too. 

"You said you were scared, but what was it that you were so scared of? You made things worse, hyung. Our relationship got so bad after that, it even affected the other members. I ended up wrecking my car…"

Jiyong nodded, his eyes lowering. He turned his head to the side. "I think we should sit and talk about this."

"We don't need to sit down. Explain it to me now, why exactly were you scared? Is that you didn't want to admit you might like another man? Or were you afraid you fans would find out and you'd ruin your career? Did you get warned by someone? Do you think your friends and family would shun you?"

Jiyong bit his lip. "No. None of that."

"Then what?"

"I was wrong, I know that. Ever since your accident—" Jiyong rubbed his eye with the back of his hand— "I've wanted to die. I almost lost you. I believed that you loved me back then but I was afraid you'd hurt me. I didn't think you had it in you to love one person for more than a short time, I thought you would get over your infatuation and move on to your next and leave me, and I didn't believe I could survive something like that. And then your accident happened, and I thought, ah, there is something worse than that." Pulling Seungri's head down to his shoulder, Jiyong wrapped his arms around him and placed his own head on Seungri's shoulder. "So no matter how scared I am of being heartbroken, it doesn't matter. I want to be with you."

Seungri squeezed his eyes closed. "And you waited months to tell me this?"

"I had to make sure you still wanted me."

"I resent the fact that you think I'm a slut. I can commit to love.." Seungri brushed his fingers along the VII's inked into the side of Jiyong's neck and shoulder. 

Pulling back out of the hug, Jiyong raised an eyebrow at Seungri. "For a while, you didn't give me much reason to believe otherwise, maknae."

"What about you? You always had girlfriends. I wasn't even sure you liked guys."

"I never dated them, just made people think that was the case. And I've always liked guys. Well… One guy. You." Jiyong's cheeks grew pink. 

"Are you telling me you've never… you know?" 

Jiyong frowned. "Yah. I'm not a virgin, okay. I've just never… dated anyone."

"Does that mean I'm your hoobae?" 

"Are you mocking me?"

Reaching between them, Seungri touched Jiyong's cheek. "Pabo."

The corners of Jiyong's mouth twitched. "Does that mean you forgive me?"

Seungri sighed. "I still love you. But…"

"I don't like that. There are no buts."

"But," Seungri contintinued, his heart a little heavy still, "Maybe we need to think about this carefully. Those things I brought up, I was too selfish to think about any that back then. I didn't care how it could affect the members, our families, or our fans. I just burdened you with my confession, because all I could think about was what I needed. For good or bad, I've changed. I've had to think about all of that, because it's the only thing that made me understand how important keeping our relationship intact is, even if we could only be hyung and dongsaeng. What we have now is good and safe."

Jiyong nodded and slowly he dropped his arms from around Seungri. "I’ve had a lot of thinking to do as well, and I won’t regret one more thing in my life. If they can’t love us for who we are then so be it. They’re welcome to go.”

Seungri let out a small breath and looked his hyung in the eye. “I’m not sure I could live with that.”

“Does that mean you won't consider it?"

"It means, I need some time to think about it."

Taking a step back, Jiyong nodded again. "Fine. If that's what you need."

"Thank you."

Jiyong turned and began to pick up the leftovers once again, his shoulders stiff and his expression blank. His loose t-shirt gaped and against the pale skin of his chest, Seungri spied a strip of black lace. It matched the panties he knew Jiyong was wearing. In a heartbeat, his stomach hollowed out and flipped over. His hands itched to drag that t-shirt off of him to reveal the absurdity underneath.

He watched Jiyong walk to the kitchen to discard the trash and put away the remaining food. Then he watched Jiyong walk back and bend to collect the remainder of the items.

"How much time do you think you'll need?" Jiyong said. 

"About five minutes, so hurry up."

Jiyong's head snapped back to him and he stared. "I'm going to kill you, I promise."

Seungri bit his lip. The look on Jiyong's face was dangerous, and it was turning him on. "Kill me later."

"How about now?" Jiyong stepped forward and Seungri stepped back. 

He licked his lips. “Hyung," was all he could say before Jiyong reached him and crashed his lips into his, kissing him for the second time.

“Damn, you almost had me there,” Jiyong said between breaths as he slowed the kiss down to licks and nips, making Seungri’s lips burn. 

“It’s an honest consideration,” Seungri said with a gasp as Jiyong bent to suck at his neck. “You’re gonna leave a mark.” Jiyong hummed in response and sucked harder. "On second thoughts, I don't care."

"You don't care about the others or the pretty little mark on your neck?" Jiyong smirked at him. 

Seungri laughed and it felt good. He was lighter than air and buzzing with excitement. "The ones who love us will stay with us, hyung, just like I'll stay with you. Forever." 

A grin split Jiyong's face and his eyes were like moons. "You're gonna have me on my knees, aren't you my maknae."

"If that's what you want." Seungri's voice turned husky. He licked his lips and reached for the edge of Jiyong's t-shirt with both his hands. 

Jiyong grabbed his wrists. "Now?"

"Do you have any desire to wait?" Shaking his head, Jiyong bit his lip. "Me neither," Seungri said as he began to roll the t-shirt up to reveal his hyung's torso.

First he exposed the double x's that were tattooed above his belly button, and then Jiyong grabbed his wrists again. "Does it bother you if, um… what I'm wearing…?"

"I know what you're wearing. It's been driving me insane, pabo."

"Pabo?" Jiyong raised an eyebrow. "Wait. Does that mean you like it?"

Seungri gave his hyung a sincere look. "If I'd have known you were like this when I confessed the first time, I'd never have taken no for an answer."

"Oh. I see. You really like it." Jiyong's grin grew lopsided and his cheeks turned pink. 

"I really really like it, now please let me take a look at you?" 

"Wait--" Seungri groaned. "Oh stop. We should discuss, er, logistics."

"Logistics?"

"Yes. Er. You know. How, um, are we gonna do this?"

Seungri chuckled. Just how many sexual encounters had his hyung actually had? "I don't know, I was going to rip your clothes off, and if you let me, fuck you senseless. It's not a live concert."  
Jiyong's face grew even more red. "So you'd be doing the, er, fucking?"

"I could. If that's what you want." Seungri held his breath. He may have sent up a silent prayer. 

Sliding his fingers up Seungri's arms, Jiyong pulled him closer and looked at him from beneath his eye-lashes. "I want you to do so many things to me, baby." His low words turned Seungri's stomach inside out. How Jiyong could be coy one minute and sex incarnate the next, he would never know. "And right now I want you to fuck me. Will you do what I want?"

Seungri nodded. He didn't trust himself to talk. 

"Take my shirt off," Jiyong instructed.

Guiding his hands, Jiyong helped Seungri to pull his shirt up, exposing his abs, and then further, revealing the lace camisole he was wearing underneath. Seungri could only stare. The contrast of dark, delicate fabric and the flat, angular lines of jiyong's tan chest, with just the hint of dusky nipples hidden underneath, made Seungri's cock jump. 

"Jeans, too." 

His hyung was no longer blushing in embarrassment, but completely comfortable now that he was back in control. He waited while Seungri fumbled with shaking hands to undo the snaps and zipper of Jiyong’s jeans. Seungri kneeled to pull the jeans down and help Jiyong out of them, then looked up. The lace underwear was everything he'd pictured and more. It was tight, the material stretched to contain his hyung's bulge, and Jiyong's erection and dark pubic hair were clearly visible, but also obscured. The lace wrapped around his hips in a delicate band. The tattooed letters down his side crept underneath, making Seungri's fingers ache to follow suit.

Seungri sat back on his heels, and took in the whole picture. He was robbed of his breath. Jiyong crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow. "Are you done looking?"

Nodding slowly, Seungri continued to stare, unable to understand how his hyung could be this beautiful, but also this masculine. The combination was like tinder that threatened to set him on fire with a single spark. 

"Then come here… no. Stay on your knees, that's it my maknae, scoot up close. Do you see how fucking hard I am? You're like a damn angel with that hair. I can't help myself. I want to feel you. Touch me."

Seungri dragged in a breath and reached up to touch Jiyong's hip. He let his fingers play over the contours of the lace, fascinated with the texture. When he reached the curve of Jiyong’s cock, his hyung hissed. 

“Yes. There, I want your hand around me. And your mouth.”

He leaned forward and kissed the front of Jiyong’s lace briefs then peeled back the band so the head of his cock, already wet with precum, peeked out. Seungri inhaled the earthy scent, then kissed the tip. He yanked down more of the fabric to release Jiyong and proceeded to lick all the way down the shaft and back up before pulling him into his mouth.

Seungri hummed as he continued to fellate his hyung. He was on solid ground now. This he knew, this he was good at, but it was the other thing that Jiyong ultimately wanted from him tonight he was hesitant about. He’d fantasized about it so many times, being able to top his hyung. He couldn’t screw things up. As a perpetual bottom when it came to his dealings with other men, he knew the experience could be bad, sometimes awful. He wanted desperately to make it good for Jiyong.

Jiyong’s cock hit the back of Seungri’s throat and he flattened his tongue against the shaft. As he worked to create a rhythm with his mouth and palm, Jiyong’s hands found their way into his hair, his fingers weaving between the strands. 

“That feels so good, maknae-yah. But don’t make me come, I want to come when you’re inside me.”

Suddenly Seungri’s own aching cock felt neglected, and he was dizzy with need. He let his free hand stray to Jiyong’s lace covered ass. He slipped underneath the band and ran his fingers down the crack until he found that small, puckered opening. Jiyong’s cock throbbed in his mouth at the contact and he let out a small whine from above. Seungri almost choked at how responsive he was. He released Jiyong's cock for a second to lick his fingers for lubrication, then pressed his index finger back against his hole before pushing it in to the first knuckle. 

"Shibal." Jiyong coughed. "Don't you dare stop."

He slowed the rhythm of the blow job to long langourous licks and sucks while he worked Jiyong's hole. Seungri couldn't believe his hyung was letting him do this to him, allowing him to open him up stroke by stroke until he had two fingers inside reaching as deep as he could go. He pushed in a third and Jiyong let out a yelp. 

Seungri paused, afraid he'd gone too far, but Jiyong said in a choked voice, "I need your cock, Ri-yah. I can't wait. Bend me over the couch and fuck me. Now."

He didn't wait to be told twice. Seungri released Jiyong with a gasp, then flipped him around as he stood, dragging his sweatpants and underwear down to his knees. He took hold of his hyungs neck and pushed him over the couch, then, improvising, grabbed the edge of the lace underwear that obstructed his path and ripped them until he could clearly see Jiyong's open hole waiting for him.  
For a moment, he hesitated. He wanted to do this right, but he didn't even have any lubrication.

"Use your spit, fuck, hurry up," Jiyong said, looking at him over his shoulder. "Don't worry, I won't let you hurt me any more than I want to be hurt. Just do as I say."

Seungri nodded and quickly coated his own solid cock with as much saliva as he could then placed the head at Jiyong's hole. The contact sent a thrill through him like electricity. 

"Hold my neck like you were doing," Jiyong said. "That was hot."

Sliding his hand up Jiyong's spine, he brushed over the three little letters etched across his middle back, 'get', then dragged his fingers over the lace of his camisole,and upwards across the bare skin between his shoulder blades until he circled his palm around the elegant column of Jiyong's neck. With his other hand, he grasped Jiyong's hip and gave a quick, shallow thrust. 

His hyung grunted. He felt the sweat break out on Jiyong's skin. He thrust again, a little further, and then again, each motion allowing him to sink deeper inside. The tight passage squeezed him in a way that was indescribable. He only knew that he was probably the luckiest man alive, or who had ever been alive. 

"Stop playing around. I can take it. I want to feel every inch you've got."

Seungri drew in a breath and squeezed Jiyong's hip before thrusting again, this time not holding back. He buried himself almost to his capacity, and was rewarded with Jiyong cursing him with a very creative insult. He repeated the move, and this time his hyung let out a throaty cry that ended in half a sob. 

And that’s when Seungri realized his hyung was right. He couldn’t hurt him. Because to him the pain was also pleasure. And now he understood Jiyong on a new level, as well, because Jiyong thrived on turning pain into something good. 

With that, Seungri finally let himself trust Jiyong and he dropped everything he’d been holding back. Jiyong met him thrust for thrust, piercing the silence of the apartment with his grunts and cries, accompanied by the counter rhythm of skin slapping against skin.

“Shibal,” Jiyong gasped. “Shibal. I can’t. Fuck. It’s too good. I…”

“What do you need, hyung?” Seungri felt like his heart would beat out of his chest. He was rapidly losing control of himself.

“You’re mine. Tell me. Tell me you’re mine.”

“Always. Wherever I am, whatever I do, I belong to Jiyongie hyung.”

“Ah, my Ri-yah. I love you. I Iove you. Fuck. I… I’m coming… aaah!”

Seungri held his hyung while he shook through his orgasm, shooting streaks of creamy cum over the side of the couch and floor beneath them. He squeezed his eyes shut and let the words Jiyong had cried out take root in his chest. 

When Jiyong had returned to his senses, Seungri pulled out slowly. 

“Are you okay?” He asked.

Jiyong straightened gingerly then over his shoulder looked down at Seungri’s still hard cock. “Never better, but you, on the other hand… you’ve been good, my love, so come get your reward.”

He discarded his ruined underwear and lay back on the couch with his legs spread wide, then beckoned Ri towards him.

“Take it all off, though. I want you naked while you make love to me.” Jiyong said waving to his disheveled clothing.

Seungri grinned and teased his hyung by easing out of the rest of his clothes slowly even though he trembled with the need to pounce on him. But once he was completely naked, he fell on top of Jiyong with a growl and kissed him hard. The kiss was returned with passion and the fire inside him flared up even hotter. He found Jiyong’s hole once again and thrust inside. 

“Yes, that’s it, take what you need, baby.” Jiyong held his face and kissed his lips, his nose and his cheeks before pressing his forehead against him. 

Seungri slowed his strokes, going deep each time and almost pulling out before thrusting back inside.

“I want to feel you let go. I want to see your cum leaking out of me.”

“Shit,” Seungri groaned out as his strokes become more shallow and uncontrolled. He could feel the heaviness in his balls and the pressure building until he could no longer stand it, and then he was crying out as he came, his cock pulsing out its load.

“That’s it, baby, that’s it,”  
Jiyong crooned as he held onto him tightly.

Seungri shuddered through the last pulse of his cock and then collapsed into Jiyong’s arms.

At some point during the late evening, after they’d both recovered and Jiyong had taken time to cuddle and kiss his maknae, they moved to Jiyong’s bedroom where they fucked again and made love again and then collapsed into sweaty, dreamless sleep.

Seungri woke up sometime in the late morning with the sun in his eyes and Jiyong wrapped around him like an octopus. 

He laughed. It took him back to when he was fifteen and they lived in the dorms and Jiyong had always come to sleep with him instead of one of the others and they’d always wake up in this exact position. The truth was that Jiyong had loved him even then, and he knew now he’d loved Jiyong too, he just hadn’t known at the time what that emotion was. 

They’d come full circle, and were about to embark on the second half of their careers with an upcoming album and world tour… it was daunting, and nobody could predict if they’d see success, but it somehow didn’t matter as much to him, now. 

Seungri wove his fingers through Jiyong’s soft, dark hair and smiled again. Now he knew what all his future songs would be written about. 

“Hmmm are you trying to wake me? Are you horny again?”

Chuckling, Seungri shook his head. “I don’t think I can move. I’m surprised you can think about it.”

“I alway think about it. With you.” Jiyong stretched and winced. “I think you’re right, I’m not used to this level of activity.”

“Need me to kiss it better?”

Jiyong slapped him. “Shut up. Maybe later. I need some painkillers first.”

“I’ll get them for you.” Seungri tried to jump up but Jiyong tightened his hold on him. 

“No. Stay here. I don’t want you to go.”

“Can’t stay all day, hyung,” Seungri said with a laugh that came from a place of pure happiness.”I’ve got to get back to the studio with Youngbae hyung later.”

“No. I don’t want to share you today.”

“Should I call him and tell him I’ll be servicing Jiyong hyung all day and won’t be able to make it to the choreography session?”

Jiyong snorted. “I’d love to see the look on his face, but…” he sighed a little… “I don’t know how you feel but I think we should keep this a secret between us for right now. I don’t want to worry them, they have enough to worry about. Maybe after the tour—“

“I was going to suggest the same thing. I’m glad we’re on the same page with this. I’m sure they’ll understand when we do tell them.”

Jiyong nodded. “Good. Now kiss me.”

“No way! We all know where that will lead.” Seungri managed to slip out of Jiyong’s grasp and bounce off the bed. “Besides, I need to brush my teeth.”

“Come here.” Jiyong reached lazily across the bed for him. 

“No.”

“Fine. Stand there then so I can look at you. I like looking at you naked.”

“Hyung!”

“I’ve seen it all before anyway.” Jiyong pouted. 

“Pervert. Are you hungry?”

“Fucking starving.”

“Then you stay there and I’ll go and find something to eat and some pills for you.” Seungri leaned over to quickly kiss Jiyong’s head then jumped out of the way before his hyung could grab him and drag him back to bed.

He laughed all the way to the kitchen with Jiyong’s choice comments following him. Seungri pulled the chocolate milk out of the fridge for Jiyong and started a pot of coffee for himself. He hummed a made up tune that matched the joy he was feeling as he looked through the cupboards for something suitable. 

His reverie was broken by the tell tail beeps of Jiyong’s front door being opened from the outside. 

Seungri jumped upright then realized he was naked. “Shit.” He grabbed the nearest thing he could reach which was a ramen pot drying on the rack by the sink, and covered his junk just in time for the door to open.

Youngbae hyung walked into Jiyong’s apartment and immediately saw Seungri standing there. 

“Shit,” Seungri said again,this time under his breath. 

“Where’s Jiyong?” Youngbae asked without batting an eye.

“Um. In the bedroom.”

Youngbae nodded. “Good. I mean I’ve been trying to call him. His phone is not turned on.” 

“Should I… get him for you?”

“Er… No.” Youngbae coughed. “Tell him to call me later.” Youngbae did an about turn. “I’ll be leaving now. Don’t be late for our session this afternoon.”

“No. Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“And tell Jiyong to change his entry passcode.”

“Will do. See you later, hyung.”

Youngbae left just as abruptly as he’d entered and Seungri felt his legs grow weak as he started to laugh. Nothing ever went the way it was supposed to. But as long as they could face it united, it didn’t really matter what the future held.

“Jagi-yah,” he called out. “Small change of plans.”

 

Fin.


End file.
